Life right now

So there is a lot of new and still some old. Life has changed so much since I last posted. I still work at Focus. Now I work for saveology instead of BOA though. I like the change. Saveology is so much more active then BOA was. I have met a lot of new people there. I also made the #1 position so I am now an assistant coach. I love it. Anyways. I can't really post much today. Have a friend coming over. I actually hangout now. It's not all the old people that I used to see. I love my old friends. Don't get me wrong no one could replace the people in my life. Nico, Donna, there are really too many to name. I can't just replace you. Ever. You will always be the number one people in my life. I need to get out and meet the new too though. If I stay stuck in the life of the few I have I will go nuts. So this is me moving on. Not moving away. No worries on that. Nico I will still visit you in Evanston. Donna I WILL be there in the maid of honor dress to lead you on into married life. I am so happy for you and Ryan. You have found what you deserve. That is the best thing I could ever wish for you. Anyways. I am signing off now. I promise to post more often.......Always, Me

http://www.parenting.com/Babytalk/covercontest/contestant.jsp?ID=42408342
  


So I entered Brycen into this Parenting magazine contest. Thinkin everyone should vote for him. Lets face it he looks SOOOO freaking cute with that on his head. Lol.

The End of That Chapter

Well the end of a chapter of my life is officially here. I am single. Its a long story. The only thing I really have to say is you NEVER really know someone. The people you think you know and love are NEVER really what they seem. People lie. They cheat. People set out on a course to hurt others and just never get back off that course. I have been hurt. I have been lied to. I have been cheated on. I am tired of it. I am tired of the decite. I am tired of looking over my shoulder and hoping that things will be different. They never will though. People are fake and people are stupid. Its really that simple.

Life is hard

Life is hard. There are all these choices and chances you have to decide on. There are heartaches and head breaks. There is anger and hate. There is a lot of good to though. Sometimes I know its hard to focus on the good. The bad seems to be all that anyone ever pays attention to. I hate not knowing which road in life to take. Should I move out? Should I break up and move on? Things like that are often the last thing I care to think about. You have to though. There comes a time in every ones life when you have to take a step back and decide. The decision is often the last thing you want to make but its necessary. You have to strive on doing things that will make you happy. If you only live to make others happy then you often neglect yourself. Yes some people find great and true happiness in making others happy and that is totally fine. If your not one of those people though. Should you really sit and try? No one can make everyone around them happy. Its futile to try. You can make your family happy but that will often make your friends not happy and vise Vera. its all so confusing at times. So I stand at this. If you want to be happy and your not. Take steps to fix it. You only live once. You deserve to live your life how you chose to. You deserve to live your life happy and full. So do what you do. Live how you live. Just be happy while you do it.

The new and the kinds old.

So this is my life as it stands. My oldest child Tristan just turned three on March 7th. He has grown so much. He blew his own candle out this time. He jumps and talks. Giggles and plays. Beats up on his sister and yells no. Typical three year old. I love it though. Yeah it has its rough times but its amazing. My middle child Loerya will be two May 5th. She talks now too. She tries to jump but it doesn't always work. Yeah Tristan beats her up but she beats him up too. She is my lil temper tantrum thrower. She is always freaking out when we tell her no. Brycen is my youngest. He was only born Dec 2, 2009. He is eating baby food now. Not just bottles anymore. He giggles and smiles now too. He can hold his own head up now. Its kinda wobbly when he does it but its up still. I love me kids. They are the light in my life. Mason and I are together again. We have our rough times. Have had them before. Yet still we stick by each other. I don't know what the future holds for us but I know what I want it to hold. I wont lose faith but I wont lose myself in this either. I found a job. Yeah it took forever but I found one. I work at Focus in Roy. I have ALWAYS hated telemarketers but that's what I am now. Its an ok job. Kinda sucks but well it's a paycheck. Does it make me hate telemarketers any less....NO. Oh well anyways, that's my life right now. Take it or leave it right!

Night out

Went to Evanston last night. Spent the night with Mason and Trit. Im not gonna go into my emotions on that one cuz well its a long story and i'm tired of caring too much. The night was fun and interesting. Slept in a WAY too comfy bed cuddled up with Mason. Died of overheat cuz of it but oh well. Woke up early went to H&R Block. Filed taxes, Went to his moms grabbed stuff. Left and came home. Spent the day tired and really unsure of some stuff. Its all so complicated. Life is complicated. I feel bad cuz I upset a friend. Didnt mean to just too tired to move and he wanted to hangout. I hate disappointing people. Sometimes it cant be helped though. Why cant life just be SOOO much simpler? Now im off to sleep. That is if I can make my stomache stop hurting so dang much. Oh well Ibuprofen and the light off should do it. So goodnight my friends ill update soon!

Happy Birthday Miss Serenity, YAY for NANA's who give you a free day!

So my niece turned two today! YAY. I love my family. Its HUGE. Its GREAT. Most of my family live here in UT. I have some in WA and then some other places. You cant forget those friends that I concider family too. Donna I LOVE YOU. Anyways, Today was nice. I woke up to Mason telling me my mom was stealing the kids for the day. She woke up at 330 and decided that she wanted to have a Nana day. So that left Mason and I to just take a day to do well whatever we wanted to do. We went to Home Depot at 1 to have lunch with my dad. My mom sis and the kids came too. Then we all parted ways and just did our thing. Mason and I just drove around and talked. Alot of things were said alot was finally put out in the open. Its all still rough. Theres alot that im not sure about and alot that scares me still. I dont know how the future will work out and well I dont know if I care anymore. That might be sad but its true. There is no point worrying bout the past and the future. Live in the now. So yeah, We met up with my mom and Grandma and the kids at Wal Mart. Changed Brycen when I got there. Sang happy Birthday to Serenity over the phone. Then My mom took the two older kids into the bathroom to change them and Mason and I helped my grandma get Brycen and the stuff in the car. Did that headed back in to help finish with the kids. Went inside and Mason went to go to the restroom. I went in the womens room and couldnt find my mom so I called her to see where she was. She said in the bathroom. Then all a sudden all I hear from her side of the phone is Mason laughing telling her yeah shes in the mens room. My mom had did the ultimate oops and went into the wrong room. Whats sad is no one noticed really. Men went in and out and it was all normal looking. That is until my mom pipes up saying " If there are any other men in here besides my son in law I am SOOOOO sorry" then she came out of the bathroom beat red looking teary from embarassment. It was GREAT. Its one of those things we wont EVER let her live down. Went to Sonic after that and talked to Grandma (emily-a manager there). Then drove home played with the kids some and got kicked out by my mom again lol. So spent an hourish walking around the mall. So that was my day. Uneventful but at the same time really eventful. I know this blog was kinda boring but hey I wanted to type and this is all I got to talk about right now. So im done for now. Ill post again soon. Thanks to those who have already chose to follow my blog and thanks in advance to the once that decide later on to follow. Night!

Wonderings

Has there ever been something that you haev tried at so hard and just couldnt do? Something that if you could do it then things in life would just fall into place and finally work? I hate that feeling. The feeling that you have failed at something when in the end you know you have every right to not let yourself succeed in what your trying. I know this doesnt make sense cuz well you dont know what I have tried to really not try to do. If that makes sense. I dont know. I just cant let myself do this one thing knowing that in the end I will just be hurt once again. Is it so bad to not want to feel the pain again? Is it so bad to wish that things could just change without this one thing? gr I give no one will understand this anyways. Its just a rambling from my head. I got it out now I feel a lil better I guess so its off to bed again. Hopefully to sleep this time!

The Wonders of the then and now!

Have you ever lost contact with someone that you REALLY REALLY wish you hadnt? Then one day you just reconnect? I love when that happens. There are people that come in and out of your life on a daily basis. Its up to you who you keep and who you throw to the dogs. The thing is there are some times when the people you dont want to let go of just drift away. You might move and lose your phone. Or you argue and never have that chance to reconnect. Its those people the ones you loved and lost that always find a way back to you. It  might be five ten or even fifty years later. You still connect though. Some how Some way. Im glad I have so many loved ones in my life. Friends from school who while in school I couldnt call friends per say but now we talk more than the ones I have known all my life. There are always those guys that were macho men in school and now years later confess it was all a front to seem cool. Those girls who knew they were wanted by all and because of it had that snobbish attitude but now years later they are the sweetest people you could ever meet. Its amazin how much people change once they get out of that highschool setting. Once there isnt the pressure of who is more popular or who dates who. Once your out in the realworld and finally you learn that it didnt matter if you were prom queen. It doesnt matter if you were the science geek or the school recluse. All that matters is you and how you percieve yourself. I used to be one of those people that knew everyone but was neither liked nor disliked by 90% of them. I was happy that way. I had my group of friends that I would never leave then I had those people that I was great with in class but never saw otherwise. There are the ones I was besties with in middle school hit highschool and it was like I never met them. I wish it wasnt that way. Yeah I can be a witch and yeah I can argue with the best of them but its not me. The people that know me best know that I have always been the one to go to. I love being able to help people. I love when people know that they can go to me for anything. For those of you that talk to me now but didnt back in the day I say this. Im sorry. Im sorry I either pushed you away or simply hid away from you. Im sorry I didnt let the me shine and get to know you all better. I wish I had. Its time to make up for the faults of then and make the most of now. So sorry and I hope that it can all be different now!

My Intro

As most of you know my name is Kassie. The last couple months of highschool I was dating a man named Robert. It was fun we got along. When I graduated he was right there to support me. I moved up to WA to help take care of my mom who has MS. While there I learned something interesting. I was pregnant. Looks to be that I got pregnant a couple days before I graduated. I was scared yet happy. Didnt know how I was gonna do it all but knew even then that I would never give my child up. I called Robert told him the news. He seemed happy. Said he was excited, he even moved up to WA to be with me. Thats when it all changed. Him and I no longer got along. He accused me of cheating and said the baby wasnt his. That ended things. He went back to CA and I moved on. I moved to UT to live with my dad and stepmom. Things got better then. I got huge. March 7th, 2007 I had Tristan. It was amazing. I got induced so my dad could see his first grandchild before being sent overseas. He was 7 pounds 14 ounces 21 inch long. I loved him right then. I couldnt imagine not having him. Things were fascinating after that. Watching him grow and change. Being a first time mom. Robert didnt help but well I didnt need him. I was happy and my son was happy thats all that mattered.

August of 2007 came around. I started hanging out with people. Meeting guys that kind of thing. Then I met Mason. I was going through the drive through at Sonic and well it just clicked lol. He gave me his number and I txted him that night while he worked.  We started hanging out alot. Eventually we started dating. Things went fast with us and well in hindsight I know now that I should have made it all slow down but I was caught in it all. I started working at Sonic with him we were inseperable. I got pregnant again. I had our daughter Loerya on May 5th, 2008. She was 7 pounds 11 ounces 21 inches long. Had her in 15 minutes. It was great. It was hard. Having a new born and a 1 yr old but we handled it. Mason claims Tristan now too. He is an amazing dad. We have had our problems there were alot of lies and alot of pain but we still pulled through. Mason and I arent together anymore. We are friends and working on that. There are still ALOT of trust issues and they arent just gonna go away. We have talked about getting back together and well eventually we might but for now we are happy as we are.

Despite all the issues we have our new baby now too. Brycen was born Dec 2nd, 2009. He was 8 pounds 6 ounces 19 and a half inches long. Mason moved back to UT from Evanston to be here with me and the kids. Living together has its issues. We dont always get along. Its just anothere challenge in life. Thats what life is though. Its a challenge. There are the ups and downs. Nothing will change that. We just have to take the bad with the good.

Being a mom is hard. Being this young and a mom is even harder. Living in UT being a mom whos not married well thats another thing all together. Its hard to meet people who understand and accept it. The way I see it is this...If people cant accept me then they arent worth my time. Now you have my story. You have the past in summary. Honestly I dont care who reads this. Its just whats in my head. Its my struggles and my fears. My wants and my hopes. If your interested keep reading but I wont force you. Thats that. Enjoy. And thank you.